It's Back!

WHAT UP loyal readers!?!? You all still there? No? Good. Sorry for the radio silence for the last 3 years.

I'm bringing back the Six Foot Lobster. A lot in my life has changed in the past two years, and it's useful to me to share my thoughts and feelings. Particularly since they're changing so rapidly. So if anyone is out there, you're about to get more than you bargained for.

In order to "get" the rest of my entries, you'll need to understand a few things:

I lost my faith that the LDS church is the one true church around April of 2013. That decision or realization, depending on your perspective, has had far reaching impacts in my life and the lives of my loved ones. For everyone, including myself, it brought despair, sadness, depression, confusion, worry, and grief - then optimism, curiosity, discovery, and acceptance. My entire worldview had been pulled out from under me, and I didn't have the tools to build a new one. For the last year and half I've been putting the pieces back together, and I'm still sorting things out. It's been wonderful and heartbreaking at the same time, and I want to share that with you all (hopefully no one, since no one reads this).

It took a while but eventually I settled in pretty nicely with a set of thoughts or beliefs, up until about a month ago, when I became more contemplative about spiritual things. It's partially for that reason that I want to share the story of how someone can go from full tilt believing member - to disaffected - to devour-er of historical and apologetic information - to comfortably settled atheist - to cautious skeptic - all in about a year and a half.

There are many things I hope to explore through this blog:

The impact on my family has been difficult, but rewarding at the same time. I want to sort out what this journey has been like, and where I hope to see us heading.

I've become much more thoughtful about my place in the universe, and I want an outlet for those thoughts and feelings.

I've cultivated a new appreciation for the diversity of the world - I want to share what that means to me and why it's important.

I've become a sort of lame amateur theologian. Without a pre-supplied framework for considering God and other spiritual things, I've been stuck in my head creating my own concepts and ideas. I'd like to share those.

I now feel comfortable expressing my opinion on a number of social issues that I never felt comfortable talking about before. Not that anyone should care what I have to say, but now I can say it and not feel bad about it!

I want to pat myself on the back from time to time for living authentically. It's a hard thing to do sometimes, and it's been exhilarating to understand myself in new and exciting ways.

Lastly, I still am and will forever be a Mormon. Feels like a contradiction, right? I interface with the LDS Church almost constantly in my life, yet don't currently espouse a belief in the fundamental truth claims. Aren't you all curious how an apostate navigates that?! I mean, my kids are going to turn 8 someday... what happens then??!?! I want to sort out how I approach all of this and share an alternative perspective on what it means to be a Mormon.

Well, I hope there's no one out there actually reading any of this. If you're there, you have my pity. Take care everybody!